For years I’ve struggled with the idea of faith. Deep down I believed in a higher power, but I couldn’t bring myself to fully commit and call myself a Christian. I didn’t want people to think less of me. I thought that Christians were intellectual children and that real adults couldn’t have that faith.
Everything changed when my friend Anna invited me to come to CCF.
She told me this church was anything but boring.
I was never really a fan of church, so I stalled. I told her church was boring. She told me this church was anything but boring, so I eventually went.
When I got there, she hadn’t arrived yet, so I wandered around and pretended to know what I was doing.
Of course, I fooled no one and the next thing I knew, Joe, the college pastor introduced himself. During the course of our conversation, I admitted that I was struggling with the idea of faith. I gave a few some passive answers to avoid a deeper conversation, but he wouldn’t give up.
College students just like me were doing things like leading worship, speaking, and hosting events. It blew my mind.
In the weeks that followed, Joe and many others would check in on me and help me feel welcome. I was surprised how people my age were getting into the church scene. College students just like me were doing things like leading worship, speaking, and hosting events. It blew my mind.
I always figured that faith was childish, but now I saw people I looked up to and respected doing amazing things in the name of God. It inspired me to keep going and after a few weeks I decided to go on the beach weekend.
Something changed within me over the course of that weekend.
I stopped resisting.
I stopped resisting. I realized God wasn’t pushing me away, he was drawing me in. I decided to stop fighting him, and let him win.
Of course, I wasn’t just going to say that I had found God on a beach and was a new person. I didn’t want the emotions of a retreat high to compromise my intellect, but it was obvious God had won.
For the first time, faith didn’t seem so foolish. Doubts and all I was in, and I knew I believed Jesus. I am still eager to grow in my faith and continually seeking answers as I learn more.
As a kid I had been baptized but I didn’t really know what it meant. When I learned that baptism is how new Christians identifying with Christ, my next step became incredibly clear. I decided to get baptized again on May 28th, 2015. I was finally able to say that I believed, and I could actually believe myself when I said it.
I’m no longer scared of being called a Christian. I have been humbled, and as my pride has been broken, I’ve found that I no longer have to be alone. I’ve found a real community, friends for the journey and a God worth following.
My name is Alex. I was a skeptic, and now I’ve found Jesus.
Or rather…Jesus found me.